Sometimes I struggle with allowing myself to fully rest.
The struggle is not with the actual concept or act of resting because I am a HUGE advocate of getting in your cozy clothes and getting your rest on.
It's more about allowing my rest to linger on, sometimes for days, without telling myself that I'm entering loser territory and that it's time to get up & dressed & out into the world again.
A few weeks ago I sent my dear friend, who writes & teaches on the subject of self-care, a text asking if it was normal to spend an entire weekend in my jammies. I was getting antsy, wondering if I was completely losing it because my body demanded two days of hibernation. Her reply "yes, by all means" consoled my worries and gave my actions (or non-actions) some justification. My worries, gone. I could really allow myself the permission to linger as long as I needed to.
And then, there's the holidays. I love the holidays and do them up in grand fashion. I am Serbian Orthodox which means I celebrate Christmas twice, one in December & one in January. It has been non-stop holiday madness since Thanksgiving - and I'm not complaining - I'm just reflecting on how much I've been going, going, going - and sometimes it's been on fumes alone.
Right now, I'm coming down from it all and my body is reacting with aches (ear throbbing), pains (back, ankles, neck), and general anxieties about what I have to do next (nothing). I have time on my hands and I want to adventure! My body is saying: Umm, no... and therein lies the struggle. Another round of rest? Seriously?
Yes. Because it is vital to my health. Because I need strength to bounce back. Because, well, there doesn't really need to be a reason to justify why - it just is - and my body will tell me when it is healed and ready to move faster.
Last night, I crawled into bed at 7:30, slipping a heating pad inside of the pillow case to give my ear some heat therapy. I fell asleep like a baby and made it through until 5:30 am (with 2 wake ups in between) - that's another thing, my sleep patters are off...
My husband came in around 9 last night and I jolted up - completely pissed at myself for falling asleep so early. He said "sleep, honey. you need it." And I was like.. yeah, I do. I really do. And I let myself go, no longer mad - no longer questioning - forgetting about the dishes in the sink, the mess of yarn on the couch, or who would lock the doors & turn off the lights. I surrendered to letting myself go deep for as long as I needed it.
It's so simple really, and it's been difficult to give in. But I'm getting there, and I refuse to question it anymore.
The act of resting for as long as we need it is not woo woo, it's a fundamental component to our well being. In case you struggle with this too, I want to tell you that it is beyond ok succumb to what your body needs.