playing with words

Last December, I said I would never choose a word to guide me through the year (ever again). *Seriously, Bella... wtf?*

There is something I totally want more of in my life for 2013. Let me explain.

I don't want associate the year 2012 with the loss of my mother because it has been a groundbreaking year for me, soul work wise.  It wasn't all shit.  Here we are in December, and while I still hold a lot of sadness in my heart and I'm still navigating my way through the grief ... I am in such a good place in my heart / mind / and soul.(I left out body on purpose. There is much more on that subject to come.)

Over the last year, I have learned to shed control.  To shed control means to completely surrender, and that I did.  I let go.

And I've been thinking about that a lot.  Letting go, letting give would mean that I should totally be a *yes* person, except that I haven't really been that person (Well, I did swim with a dolphin while in panic mode, but I still did it!).  I hesitate, I think, I analyze, I weigh my options before I give my answer.

I am 38 years old, and I feel like I'm fucking done with all of that. If I've learned anything this year it's that life is precious and wild, but damn it's short.  When I think of my mom's should-have's & could have's, I can't help but wish the opposite for myself: that when it's my time to go, that I can go happily knowing I lived my life to the fullest.

So this coming year I want to be that YES person. What do I crave more of in 2013? 

ADVENTURE

That's my word. I will carry it with me through the coming months like a companion. It feels so right to me. Whatever opportunity comes my way... I'm going for it.

And to start my adventuring off right, I just bought myself a pair of glittery heels & a fantastic dress (in silver / grey) to dance my ass off, welcoming in the new year in style.

I won't be back in this space before the year is out.  I wish for you a very happy and prosperous New Year.  May it be the beginning that you seek, a time to start anew, and packed with all that you hope for.

Comments

[gotham girl]

BRAVO! Here's to lots of adventures in 2013! I hope to be part of that at some point when you're in NYC! :)

[elizabeth]

oh girl!!!! yes yes yes to ADVENTURE-- you are gonna set that wild soul of yours free-- I cannot wait to follow along and see all that you share in words and pictures on this journey. I am so grateful to have you in my life-- that dress is SMOKING hot and so are you.

xoox, e

[CherryPie]

Happy New Year to you too :-)

I know what it feels like to miss a parent (in my case my Dad).

Adventure!! I love it, lets adventure into 2013 :-)

[Celina]

Adventure! I love it!

[Gerri]

Fantastic word my friend!! xxO

[Joy]

What a truthful post. I hear you about the letting go. (And thanks for your clear understanding of my not-knowing state.) You are inspirational, Bella. I wish you much adventure in 2013!

[Danielle]

A book that really inspired me was "My Year with Eleanor"...it is great. She was inspired by Eleanor Roosevelt's quote "Do one thing you fear every day"....it really made quite an impact on me. Wishing you much adventure!!!

[Heather]

Adventure is a fabulous word! I hope it is everything you're wanting and more. My word for 2013 is love, which scares the hell outta me. Good luck & courage to us both! Happy New Year :)

[Juana]

Love that word too.
Your words ring true in many ways for me.
Cheers to you in the coming year and getting rid of those "could have's and should have's".

[Becca]

I love thinking about you and all your adventures :) Have a wonderful year, my dear! You deserve it!

[cat]

great word!! love this post, btw.

[Linda McGrath]

Loved reading this Bella. Adventure...stepping out in a pair of glittery heels! Awesome! For me it seems with children I have allowed my roots to get bound in the one small pot. I want to be so much more. Bigger,brighter and blossoming. I want to be transferred into a field so I can expand and grow as large as a tree. I want to grow more in my soul. I have decided to live more in desire. If I have a 'feeling' or desire to do something I act upon it. Sometimes there are many hurdles along the way, but this is part of learning and growing.

I Look forward to reading more on your 2013 adventures!

[keishua]

adventure that's a great word for the new year. i am torn between wanting adventure and wanting to stay in my pjs each weekend. it'll unfold, though.