Last December, I said I would never choose a word to guide me through the year (ever again). *Seriously, Bella... wtf?*
There is something I totally want more of in my life for 2013. Let me explain.
I don't want associate the year 2012 with the loss of my mother because it has been a groundbreaking year for me, soul work wise. It wasn't all shit. Here we are in December, and while I still hold a lot of sadness in my heart and I'm still navigating my way through the grief ... I am in such a good place in my heart / mind / and soul.(I left out body on purpose. There is much more on that subject to come.)
Over the last year, I have learned to shed control. To shed control means to completely surrender, and that I did. I let go.
And I've been thinking about that a lot. Letting go, letting give would mean that I should totally be a *yes* person, except that I haven't really been that person (Well, I did swim with a dolphin while in panic mode, but I still did it!). I hesitate, I think, I analyze, I weigh my options before I give my answer.
I am 38 years old, and I feel like I'm fucking done with all of that. If I've learned anything this year it's that life is precious and wild, but damn it's short. When I think of my mom's should-have's & could have's, I can't help but wish the opposite for myself: that when it's my time to go, that I can go happily knowing I lived my life to the fullest.
So this coming year I want to be that YES person. What do I crave more of in 2013?
That's my word. I will carry it with me through the coming months like a companion. It feels so right to me. Whatever opportunity comes my way... I'm going for it.
I won't be back in this space before the year is out. I wish for you a very happy and prosperous New Year. May it be the beginning that you seek, a time to start anew, and packed with all that you hope for.