I'd be a little embarrassed to share my inner dialog with you, but the core of what's going on in my head is this: get back to doing normal things.
And so, last week we went out to the lake for a boat ride. It kinda was the day that propelled me back to feeling like I'm part of the world again.
My gut is telling me to do the complete opposite of what I normally do (isolate). I'm doing the best I can. When I catch myself falling, I get up and make phone calls. Thank goodness for my friends.
So last time, I told you I was cooking. A lot. I've got a few photos to share:
First... one of the peonies from Elizabeth (lady - I needed you to see how beautiful they were!)
that became this:
warm baked shortbreads & fresh whipped cream. was sooo yummy.
Angie picked the pasta dish. It's staying on our menu, a definite keeper.
Veggie tostadas with rice & balck eyed peas - no leftovers.
Truthfully, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing most days. It's a wave of emotions both happy and sad - so I just feel it and ride with it. There is no escaping this one and I am so completely changed even now in this beginning.
When I can do something, I do it. When my body says "stop & rest", I comply. I keep waiting for this great big truth to sink in, but I know that it has to happen slowly - because it's just too much.
Today I'm going to the beach. The sea has healed many wounds of mine and today will be no different. It's where I feel I need to go. And so, I will.
I love you guys. You have made me feel so loved. I'm telling you... I feel reawakened by the vibes you have sent me. Thank you so, so much. xo